TURNER & TORRES

When the authors were attempting to get the book picked up by a publisher, we got a comment that the first chapter was too slow. We thought about that, and could understand the sentiment, but we liked setting up Aalok’s character the way it was (I guess we could have seen how a kid putting his clothes on wasn’t exactly a riveting way to get a new reader into the story). So we came up with this alternative chapter one, which is essentially canon to the story, though I think we would have adjusted some of Aalok’s reactions to Venus later on since he talks to her a little here. Eventually, we decided to stick with what we had, but I didn’t want this to go forever unseen, so it’s here for you!

Chapter (Negative) One – Unseen Goodbye


Aalok couldn't remember a more perfect day.

He gazed out at the valley between the crystal city of Sherendot, and the 'Owr Academy on the other side. Light glistened on the surface of the bridge between the city and the school in a cacophony of color. The entire area was aglow with the aura cast by the setting sun reflecting through the two mammoth crystal structures connected by the Bridge of Knowledge.

For a second, Aalok saw a bright FLASH! And it startled him, but it was gone as quickly as it came. He reoriented himself to note how beautiful Sherendot was. The view from Academy Commons was idyllic, arguably the prettiest in the whole city, except for maybe Sigil Park, high above. Again, there was a flicker in his mind, and Aalok thought he heard a CRACKING sound when he thought of the park, but it sounded more like a memory. For a moment he was dizzy, but a light breeze tussled his brown hair, and any thoughts of cracking crystals drifted away in the light fall breeze.

Academy Commons was a business hub; it was where the Bridge of Knowledge began; it was home to a litany of restaurants and shops; it was also right next to the air field where dirigibles and air ships were returning from the Septemus festival. Folks were bringing their luggage and all of the supplies they purchased at the fair to the carts and buggies that would return them and their treasures to their homes. Aalok frowned at a small group of protesters who took up space in the commons. They held signs like, “Stop the Minister's Manipulations!” and, “Sherendot Needs to Blaze a New Road!”

Politics didn't interest Aalok much, but it seemed to the boy that things were getting a little more heated in the crystal city over the last several months. He didn't have any particular fondness for Prime Minister Blaze, but he didn't have anything bad to say about him either. He supposed that was just something the grown-ups would have to worry about. Instead, Aalok's gaze returned to the Academy.

On this very day next year, Aalok would be crossing the Bridge of Knowledge. He would be leaving secondary school behind to learn the secrets of the anima de 'owr that all in his clan possessed. He would learn to bend light and communicate with it. He would learn to weave its strands into complicated patterns, and call fire. He would ascend to his destiny, the destiny of every 'owr.

He shivered a little as he thought of it. Aalok loved to learn new things; and he longed to figure out his place in the world. The Academy was the key to that.

Two long legs startled Aalok out of his musing. His eyes followed the legs up to a skirt that was a little shorter than it should be, and a blouse either a little more tattered than most respectable people wore, or just a little more stylish. In addition, the color of the cloth was just a little darker than the traditional 'owr yellow that his people favored. Everything about the girl was a little off, except her beauty, which was exceptional.

Though Venus de'Louvre was only thirteen, many eyes, young and old, were on her, including Aalok's. Aalok spent a lot of time at the bridge, looking over the chasm that led to the school, but he had never seen Venus there before.

She was alone, and moved with aimless purpose. She looked about, but didn't seem to focus on anything; she walked about, but didn't seem to be going anywhere. Once, she looked over her shoulder in Aalok's direction, and maybe even smiled a bit, but the moment wasn't long enough for their eyes to truly meet.

There was something that happened, Aalok thought, when you looked someone in the eyes. His mother and father taught him that. “Stand up straight; look me in the eye,” his dad said (over, and over…).

Aalok looked intently towards the girl, mentally willing her to turn around and look back, but instead of Venus, he found his attention forcibly drawn away from the girl. His eyes glassed over and he saw the Bridge from high above, with a crowd of panicking people running about. Aalok was falling, and he was going to crash into it.

“Hey,” Venus's voice said, snapping him back to reality. The little daydream, or whatever it was, was worrying to him, but it ceased to matter the moment Venus spoke. When she opened her mouth, he listened.

“Oh, hey, Venus,” Aalok said. “I’m Aalok.”

“I know who you are, silly. We’ve been in class together for years now! You used to sit behind me last year. Oh, wait, that’s two years ago now that we’re in our last year.”

“Yeah,” he responded awkwardly, realizing that somehow she had come over to him. How had he not noticed that? He always liked watching her walk. For years Aalok had dreamed of speaking to Venus. Walking with her. Holding her hand. She wouldn't help but be able to see how witty and charming he was. But instead, now, his nose itched, and he wanted to scratch it, but he didn't want to look like he was picking his nose. So he ignored the sensation, but the more he tried to ignore it, the more pronounced it became, rivaling even the stunning beauty of his classmate.

“It's a nice view,” Venus offered, waving her arm over the wide chasm. “I never realized how beautiful it is here.”

“Oh, yeah,” he croaked, cursing his failing voice and flailing wit as his itchy nose screamed at him with unerring persistence. “I always like looking at the Academy from over here,” he said, nodding at the school, trying to get Venus to look at it. She did, and he immediately reached up to scratch his nose. He successfully destroyed the itch, but also dislodged a booger, which now perched precariously from the end of his nose, igniting a panic in him that threatened to throw him over the guard rail into the several hundred foot valley below.
“Yeah. Just think, we're probably going to be there next year,” Venus pondered, staring over the crystal chasm.

In desperation, Aalok turned his head giving Venus a profile that hid his leaking nostril. He didn't have a handkerchief to wipe it, and he knew that he wasn't supposed to use his sleeve. What was he supposed to do?

“What are you looking at?” Venus asked.

He began to say, 'nothing,' but he realized that that would sound stupid. His eyes scoured the distant countryside, looking for something of interest, but there was little. “I didn't know if we could see Agathe from here.”

“Oh, you'd have to go to the other side of the city for that,” Venus said, first in a tone of instruction, but then one of curiosity, for that was something everyone in the city knew. Even so, as she turned to point to the other side of the city, Aalok quickly reached up and wiped his nose judiciously. Then, he reached under the guard rail and wiped his hand on the underside, finally freeing his mind from the mucousal malady.

“Hey, noser,” a deep, unfriendly voice demanded. “What are you doing with her?”

Aalok and Venus turned towards a trio of boys approaching them. The ring-leader, Alamar Osoto walked with a strut that oozed confidence and a studious indifference to the opinions of others. Ain Ruin lumbered behind him, serving as Alamar's muscle. Each step he took seemed to be an aggressive attack on the crystal sidewalk beneath his feet. Aalok could almost hear the crystal cracking as each step struck, and for a moment, the dizzy disorientation seized him again, causing a memory of the CRACK that never was.
“What's wrong with him?” the weaselly voice of Wazn Abeeb sniveled as Aalok's eyes momentarily glassed over. “He looks like he's having some sort of fit.”

“It's nothing,” Aalok stammered, shaking his head. “I'm alright.”

“Not if you keep bothering Venus, you're not,” Alamar asserted.

“Yeah,” Ain grunted with all the intelligence he could muster.

“Well, I... I wasn't bothering her, I mean...”

“It's okay,” Venus said, and Aalok noticed an immediate change in her demeanor. He hadn't noticed it before, but it was almost as if she had been being nice to him; accepting him. But it was gone in an instant. Now, she wasn't exactly acting mean, but the warmth that was present a moment ago seemed to be gone within a FLASH that disoriented the boy.

“No it isn't,” Alamar said jarring Aalok. “This loser isn't good enough for someone like you, Venus. He doesn't belong here. Run along, Collins,” he finished, waving his arm dismissively.

“Yeah, run,” Ain agreed, and Wazn cackled like a jackal. Aalok didn't move, not sure whether he should stay, yell at them, fight, or run. He didn't like being bullied, but he supposed that he should be used to it by now. “We said, 'get!' kid!” Ain thundered, thrusting his hands out and pushing Aalok's chest firmly with both hands.

The smaller boy stumbled backwards, striking his shoulder on a passerby. He was falling, and instantly, he was no longer at the end of the bridge, he was above it again, FALLING. HE WAS COMING CLOSER AND CLOSER. PEOPLE WERE SCREAMING. HE SAW THE EYES OF AN OLDER WOMAN WHO LOOKED AT AALOK AS HE CRASHED INTO HER. HER EXPRESSION WAS HAUNTING, TELLING AALOK THAT SHE FEARED FOR A FUTURE WHERE SHE WOULDN'T WALK THE STREETS OF SHERENDOT.

His right knee hit the ground, scraping against the rough crystal street and forcibly bringing his mind to the present. Aalok hated skinning his knee. It always hurt, and the scabs always stuck to his clothes. His hands hit next, but he was able to adjust the rest of his landing with a little more grace, sparing them any damage. Rolling, he settled on his back, looking up into the eyes of the person he had bumped into. The man gave him only a glance of annoyance as he continued on, not caring enough to see if the boy who bumped into him was going to be alright. Aalok simply wasn't worth his notice or his concern.

“Oh, hey, guys,” a breathless voice said, “Sorry I'm late.

“Aalok? What are you doing down there?” Jair Leyal did look down on Aalok as he looked down at Aalok. Instead, curiosity and concern inhabited his tone. “You OK?”

“He just tripped,” Alamar told Jair with an oily smile. Alamar knew that Jair and Aalok were best friends, and he almost never did anything to Aalok when Jair was around. Jair considered the words, shrugged and took them at face value. He reached down to Aalok with his right hand and offered him help up, which he took.

“I didn't know you were coming with us, man. If I had known that, we could have walked down together.”

“Coming with you?” Aalok asked.

“Yeah. We were going to walk over to the Academy and check out the domeball stadium over there. You know, just to get a look at where we'll be playing in a year.”

“Oh. Yeah.”

“He can't come, though,” Wazn said, trying to sound sincerely sorry. “He has stuff to do.”

“Yeah,” Aalok muttered an awkward second later. “Stuff.”

“Man, that's too bad,” Jair said. “Maybe next time.”

Aalok watched as his best friend walked over the bridge towards their future, side-by-side with the prettiest girl in Sherendot, and three of the city's biggest bullies. Protesters shouted as the five passed, drawing Venus's curious eyes. Aalok found himself jealous that protesters, bullies and his best friend got her attention, but he didn't.

So Aalok turned to walk back home at the same moment that Venus looked back over her shoulder. She waved goodbye to the lonely boy, but it was a farewell that he never saw.